Wednesday, March 9, 2011

different kind of fine

The stress is finally getting to me.  I promised myself that my blog posts wouldn't devolve into a pity party.  Why me why me why me blah blah blah blah.

I've been working hard to stay on my WW plan....and following my C25K workouts.  I have been rewarded with a 12 lb. loss since I started in January.  Today I am wearing a pair of jeans to work that three weeks ago were too snug to be comfortable.  Yesterday I went on a job interview wearing a suit that previously looked, and felt, a size too small.

I'm taking these positives wherever I can find them.

Last night's workout was a five minute warm up walk, a twenty-five minute run, and a five minute cool down walk.  I purposefully do NOT look at the next workout in my app plan, because, knowing me, I'd just be dreading the inevitable.  The workouts haven't yet repeated themselves, so imagine my surprise when last night's workout was the same as the previous one.  ACK!  I almost passed out before I even got on the treadmill! 

I figured I'd give it a go and run at a pace faster than I'd ever tried....4.2 mph (a 14.17 mile).  And...I DID IT!!  I literally threw my arms in the air and stage whispered "YES" at the end of the run.  I checked the treadmill....1.75 miles without stopping.

I am so proud of myself.

I should end the story there.  It's a great post.  Nice and tidy and wrapped in a bow.

And then the endorphins kicked in.  I felt the lump rise in my throat as a I walked back to the locker room.  I sat down on the bench in front of the locker, turned the key in the lock, and began to cry.  And I couldn't stop the flow of tears as they streamed over my hot and sweaty cheeks.  I was powerless to stifle the sob escaping from my lungs.

And I knew that it is all coming down crashing around me.  I found out a friend of mine is expecting a baby...and that unleashed all of the inner sadness that I thought I had buried.  I wallowed in my sadness for another five minutes or so, got up, washed my face and walked out into the cold night air.

One day I will conquer that.  But in the meantime, I'll be the one crying on the treadmill after I finish my workout.  Just throw me a tissue and give me five minutes.  I'll meet you outside after I'm done.....

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Tiny Titan

Damn.  When I really am in full-on avoidance, I don't post worth a shit.  I'm two weeks away from unemployment with no new job on the horizon.  My stress level is thru the roof and I'm no longer sleeping.

But I've lost ten pounds since January between WW & my C25K workouts at the Y. the ultimate irony....I somehow managed to be selected as the Fitness Facility Tracking Winner for my company for the month of January and scored a $100 VISA gift card. I plan to spend it foolishly.

Yesterday I went to pick up the Tiny Titan from school and head down to Hebrew School.  The drive usually takes between 15-20 minutes depending on the traffic.  I use the time to ask him about his day, what he liked, how much homework he has, etc.  Here's a recap of part of our chat:

Me - How was your day?

TT - Fine.  Jeremy had his lungs taken out, so he wasn't in school today.

Me - His WHAT??  HIS LUNGS??!!??

TT - Yeah, his lungs.  Why, is that bad??

Me - HIS LUNGS??!!??  Are you sure about that??

TT - Yeah, his lungs.

At this point, I'm almost crashing my car from the disbelief and laughter because there is no way that Jeremy had his lungs removed.  At the red light, I swivel around in my seat and ask again, "HIS LUNGS?????"

To which the TT points to HIS THROAT and says, "Yeah.  His lungs."

I now realize that he means "TONSILS" and then explain the difference to TT.  His response?

TT - I didn't know that I have tonsils.  All I know is that I've got nuts and a butt.

And that pretty much sums up any man I know.

Good night folks, I'll be here all week.  Don't forget to tip your servers.