powerless

We had some pretty  nasty storms blow thru here last Thursday.  The power (and water) went out and wasn't restored until late Saturday.  Then a second storm blew thru Sunday night around 10 pm and we lost power again.  Scary is the sound the wind makes as its blowing onto the house.  Terrifying is the sound of trees (not branches....TREES) snapping apart like matchsticks.  Add total darkness to that and you've got the recipe for a full blown panic attack.  Another five minutes and I was headed for the secret stash of wonder drugs that I've got squirreled away (expiration dates be damned).

And yet, in the midst of all this, I kept thinking, "I'm alive.  This may suck and scare the shit out of me, but I'm alive.  And Pete is dead.  He will never feel another thing ever again." 

All weekend, no matter what I was doing, that was the reel that kept replaying.  And I was powerless to stop it.