woman on the verge...

Have I mentioned that I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed March 18th? 

TPTB made a "business decision" to close my office.  I'm so disgusted that the people who hired me didn't have the balls to call me or at least email me to discuss the decision.

Fucking assholes.

I have been under incredible amounts of stress trying to find a job.  I have attempted to eliminate said stress by staying on my WW plan and consistently exercising.  And not binge eating.  Or crying.

There are days when I'm fine and everything seems quite manageable.  And there are days, like rightnowthisveryminute, that I feel like if I get a wrong look or hear the wrong song on the radio, that I will dissolve into a pool of hysteric tears.

We are fortunate in that we have (in no particular order) our health, our son, our home and our happiness (most of the time).  Money and future security.....not so much.

And when the weight of the day sneaks up on me...like with the realization that I have less than six weeks of work left...I just want to put my head on my desk and cry.

I'm not someone who puts stock in prayer.  I cannot hear someone tell me that they "pray on it" without rolling my eyes so far back into my head that I've become a zombie.  I can only do what I can and hope that my actions result in a positive result.

In the meantime, if you can't find me, I might be curled in a fetal position immobile on my couch with my dog.  At least she doesn't give me any shit or ask me why I haven't found a job yet.

last week catch-up & January recaps....

In no particular order.....

• I stuck to my WW plan about 75% of the time...net result was minus 6.2 lbs. for the month  - YAY!!
• I made a concerted effort to get to the gym everyday in January....but this winter weather has NOT been helpful.  I think I made it to the gym about 50% of the time.
• I started my C25K program during the last week of January - and survived!
• I checked out the Broad Street Run as something to work towards for NEXT YEAR.  I then began hyperventilating as I read this page.
• I did not work on any boxes.  Huge argument this past weekend.  :-(
• We discovered we had mice - YUCK.  Batman managed to trap four of them in a three day span and we haven't seen any others (or evidence thereof) so I'm hoping we've got them all.  It was like a Siberian deathcamp outside my garage.....
• The Tiny Titan had his Third Grade Consecration event at synagogue....and I was truly kvelling.
• During last week's snow event, we got snowed in at our friends' house - and I drank lots and lots of white wine and actually relaxed for a night.  I baked (and brought with me) some amazing banana / peanut butter swirl cupcakes with chocolate frosting.  OMFG.  
• I did go to the Y the next day to work off the aforementioned cupcakes.  And wine.
• And I still hate "weather events" that involve incredible amounts of wind and / or rain.  
• Lastly.....I'm going to find the kid that keeps praying for snow and beat the crap out of him / her.  Or at least tie them up and throw them in a locked closet until May.